We all have a list of deal breakers: qualities our partners MUST have.
He must be a Republican. He must be Catholic. He has to want kids.
On each date, we run through the list in our mind, checking the boxes with each new discovery.
“He’s an ivy league graduate?!” Check
“He’s got a good job?” Check
It’s important to know what you want and will not settle for.
What’s great on paper, isn’t always great in real life
Dig deep. Find out what makes him tick. Find out his insecurities. Find out how he reacts when he’s angry, when he’s scared… when he’s defeated. Is his charm fake? Does your friends like him?
It is so easy to hide your weaknesses during the beginning stages of dating. Both of you will show your best side and invest time to make this relationship work. Online dating is online marketing, right?
Eventually the make-up comes off
Soon enough, you won’t hide your flaws. You will be comfortable. He will stop hiding his imperfections as well and if you find those become dealbreakers, don’t stay because of the time you invested or because you don’t think you’ll find anyone better.
You deserve happiness. You deserve the greatest kind of love. He may seem like the safest choice now, but will he be in ten years? Will you able to accept his blemishes completely?
Go on. Ask yourself. Would you rather make it work now or find yourself single at 50?